Balancing togetherness and individuality is undoubtedly the key to a healthy relationship. But being a couple and at the same time maintaining a strong sense of your individual self is not easy. It is important though to manage both your need for time together as well as your need for time apart.
Being Independent
There is certainly nothing wrong with being apart so you can do ‘your own thing’. However, it is important to find the middle ground and make sure that both you and your partner have quality time during your day.
You may love shopping but he may hate it, so you shop with friends, instead. He may love football so he goes to matches with his mates.
Doing things individually helps sustain a healthy relationship, but it is important to make time to talk and share your activities when you both meet up again. You can swap ideas and news from your friends or something that really captured your imagination. Conversations such as these will enrich your relationship and bring stimulation and energy to your daily work.
Be Reliable and Trustworthy
Always follow through on your promises. Ensure your partner can rely upon what you say. If they cannot trust you, even in small matters, then they will feel unsure about your reliability in important issues. Personal integrity is everything because relationships need trust in order to survive.
Expect ‘Stones in the Road’, Sometimes
Marriage is a journey, a daily journey, and every so often there will be a ‘stone’ or two in the road that may obstruct your path. You need to either move it or find a way around it if you wish to get to where you are going. The point to remember is to resist the temptation to kick it! You will just hurt yourself and you will be no further down the road.
Quick Tips:
- Work on being neither too distant nor too close. Kahlil Gibran said, “Stand together yet not too near together… for the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow”.
- Learn the art of compromise and negotiation. Your weekly Friday night out might now become once a fortnight.
- Make sure that when you come back from your trip to the shops or football match you make time to listen to and share each other’s experiences.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness; it is not up to anyone else to make you happy.
Guest post by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert
Image from Ely Fair Photography