The planning period before your wedding is the perfect opportunity to get to know your future family better. If your in-laws have many things in common with you, things should go rather well. But if you all have different views or cultural values etc, it may take some work to find a comfortable compromise.


Have an open mind and heart, and get to know them and their traditions. You are the new kid on the block, but you don’t have to be the outsider. Remember, you’ve had many years growing in the midst of your own family, loving them and appreciating their faults and attributes. It may take a little while to replicate this with your new family.

This is a time for listening, watching and going forward gently, not rushing forward like a bull in a china shop!

The funding of your wedding is a matter for discussion. If your own family have financial challenges, it may be a problem to have exactly the wedding of your dreams; you need to look at all your options. Be open, honest and as tactful as possible so that no one feels awkward or embarrassed.

Quick Tips:

  • Being fully accepted into your partner’s family may take time, effort and patience to gain a greater appreciation of one another. Make time to get to know your fiancée’s parents over the coming months; go out for the day or invite them over for lunch together with your own parents so you can start building relationships that will endure.
  • Getting married requires a period of adjustment for both families. They have to get used to you as well as you having to get used to them.
  • Talk about financial issues regarding the wedding sensitively so no one gets hurt, upset, or feels embarrassed.
  • Respect and appreciate any cultural or other differences that may exist.

Article by Carole Spiers, Love and Relationship Expert

Image from Flickr by Aidan Jones (CC BY-SA 2.0 License)